Kismit

So here is a story for you. About a year and half ago, Mr. Cocaine and I decided we would try and have another baby. We tried and tried and tried and tried. And when I say tried, I mean tried. Accupunture, accupressure, massage, meditation, meditation over a fertility stone... Nothing. So my doctor suggested that maybe I should try Clomid, which tells the ovaries that an egg hasn't been released for the month and to release more. Twins! I romantically swirled around the notion in my head...but...nothing. So we tried that for awhile and then the doctor suggested we try insemination. We tried that twice. No luck. So as I turned 42, my chances of conceiving were looking pretty grim. I was telling myself over and over again that just because I was wretchedly lonely growing up as an only child, my son, would have a different experience. He has more extended family around him and parents that get along.
But even with that certain outcome, I decided to go speak to a fertility specialist at Wake Forest. As I was being examined, the doctor told me I had planned the appointment well. I was ovulating that very moment and he was able to count the follicles in my ovaries. He gently told me the news "Gina, you have 42 year old ovaries." Now imagine my shock! eyeroll He gave me some statistics...

I have a 5% chance of conceiving naturally.
If I pay him $10,000+, I have an 18% chance of conceiving with my own eggs after IVF. With a 65% chance of miscarriage. Hey, do the math!
If I pay him $20,000+ I have a 65% chance of conceiving with donor eggs.
If I pay $35.000, I can adopt a baby.

Well, I left the clinic with one thought. No more. I'm done. If I do decide to do IVF, I'll use donor eggs. And there is no hurry. If I get donor eggs from a 20 year old, it's like I'm 20. So as I drove, I knew...my son will be an only child. When I got home, I told Mr. Cocaine the news and I could see mild relief in his face that I was ok with the news of the bad statistical odds. I had resigned myself. It was also my husband's birthday that day, so we celebrated with a romantic evening.

Imagine my surprise when I turned up pregnant 2 weeks later! Now 3 months later, and starting to show, we now are looking at the grim statistics of the 1 in 13 chance of our baby having chromosomal damage. But I'm trying to stay positive here. I'll keep everyone posted when I find out more information as things progress.

I will say one last thing...life is funny. Women always tell you, stop trying! You're trying too hard! Well, I did stop trying and lo and behold...again, life is funny. And strange and weird and wonderful all at the same time.