Ah, To Be Young Again...

I absolutely cannot watch sports. I get so freaked out and stressed out, it isn't worth it to me (or the loved ones that have to actually be around me). Tonight the Va tech basketball team was playing NC, the #1 team in the country. My dad called to tell me we were up 20 points with 2 minutes to go. So I say to myself, Self? Surely we will win, I'll wait awhile and turn it on. So I turn it on to see that there is 30 seconds left and Tech was only up by 4...I screamed and turned the TV off and threw the remote control across the room. Hand wringing, sweating, pacing the floor. I don't even like sports of any kind. I just feel like Blacksburg is playing for national recognition...the better the school and the teams, the more tourism, the more business. Well, we won anyway. So there is dancing in the streets tonight. Ah, to be young again...With a huge crowd, strutting down the street with warm beer in a styrofoam cup, my thong popping out of my Juicy jeans, my tube top bouncing, my gum smacking, bobbing my head to the Rap music blasting from the downtown bars. With the guys giving me the eye, the gals throwing their arms around my neck, my high heels dangerously highhighhigh! Instead, to celebrate the Hokie's win, I think I'll eat a Lean Cuisine in my favorite sweats and wash it down with a Fresca. Then settle down with my 6th Lizard square...

Ok. WTF. Wholewheat Goldfish? You have got to be kidding! I had to buy them anyway, even though I know I'm being had.