The Road Less Travelled

You know, I've been talking to alot of people lately about why I quit my job as a Yarn Road Rep. I guess it's been a couple months now since I resigned and my head is just now starting to clear. That job...travelling miles and miles, getting to go into 2 yarn shops each day, eating in fantastic restaurants in big cities, endless, I mean endless skeins of yarn and sample sweaters. I was swimming in fiber, glorious fiber. I have to tell you, I had never been happier. If you are alone, no boyfriend or girlfriend, no husband or lover, no babies, no animals, no plants...the road is so exciting! You meet people when you are out to dinner, sitting at the bar, you can schedule your appointments for 11am and then party all night...it is a very social experience by and large. But, strangely enough, add a lover, baby, plants, pugs...and suddenly that very social life becomes a horrid, isolating existance where you pine for your home every moment... except when you've finally fallen asleep in your Hampton Inn bed (and your 'to go' Carabas meal left overs stink'in up the room).


ok. Got it? Alone = road life is social and exciting.
Not alone = road life is barren and bone chillingly sad...lonely.

So, I quit. And let's just say for the record, that I cracked. I cried every night in my hotel room. I was losing patience with my customers. Say I had driven 6 hours early Monday morning for an appointment with a yarn shop owner. She makes me wait for hours while she helps her customers because she didn't properly staff her store, then she hardly buys anything. I would become silently enraged! And outwardly, bossy and too aggressive with her. Here is an example..."This Noro kureyon sells really well." and she says " Ok. I'll take 1 bag of these 2 colors." Then I'd retort "No, buying that way doesnt make any sense. Buying only one bag means no one will have enough for a sweater in the same dye lot. You should buy at least 2 bags of all 28 colors." Then she comes back with "This yarn is too scratchy, nobody makes sweaters out of Kureyon." And I would groan and shake my head in disgust. Ok. She can buy as little or as much as she wants from me and it shouldn't freak me out so much. But when you've left your Bfriend and your 9 month old behind and won't see them for 5 days...you start to resent the people that are wasting your time. I know that's messed up! But that is what the road did to me. So I quit before I burned even more bridges than just the company bridge I resigned from. There were other reasons why I quit but I'll leave it at that.


You know, I felt like my mother was very concerned and focused on her career when I was growing up. (This is not whining. I don't blame her) And I really didn't want my son to feel like I chose money over time spent with him. Honestly. I've wanted to be a mother for so long...why miss it?