Tuesday, September 11, 2012

My Next Project for Mr. Cocaine

Ponchos are in for guys, right?

I'm Drain Bead

Purl Jam is going well...tonight Cornelia and Jared plus the staff, came over to my house for dinner. I wanted everyone to get to know each other a little bit better, in a more intimate setting. Annie stayed back at the hotel, she was whipped. I think Jared could have sat on my couch and knitted well into the night, I basically had to scrape him off my couch so I could put the stinky toddler in the tub. More pictures over at the shop blog...

Monday, September 10, 2012

No Rice!

Thanks, Phabulous Phyl, for a ridiculously fun day and a 1/2 of Martinis, Bioque,(we will make the world pretty, oh, so pretty...), Gin & Tonics, Pedicures, and a carbless Kabuki night with most of my favorite knitters...

I take my knitting everywhere I go!

And the looks I get!

But I don't care what people think! What I do care about is...how p@#$%^ off I am my man, Chris, was knocked off Idol last night. He was definately one of my favorites. Sniff.

Haley, the white chick needed to hit the road!

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Moments before Urban Aran is Frogged

Woke up this morning and climbed out of bed. There is a crispness in the air today and it just feels right...for a day of knitting in front of the fire. I've had an epiphany. Just this morning. I love yarn. I love all yarn. Please dismiss the "Not-Haute List".

If someone handed me a ball of rope and two widdled branches from the tree outside my window, I'd be grateful. And I would knit. Everybody out there making, spinning, dying, importing yarn in all shapes, colors, all forms of composition...Keep doing what you're doing.

Here is Todd (toddler), no longer Baby, all dressed up in his Easter best...

Happy Mothers Day!!

This is BFriend sneaking in and shouting out to my sweetest and who is hands down The Best Mom...and the Love of Toddler's Life, and Mine too!!!

Love You Always and Forever

Skeinky Grrl

Congrats Jody! You've named my new CD! I'll give you a halfpenny for every CD sold! Oh, right! And some yarn! Come into the shop to get your Godly Koigu!
Boy, this contest had some doozies! How about Alice's "Purl Jam's Greatest Knits...and UFO's" and Alice's(the same Alice?)"Purly Grrl Live featuring Deedee and the runaway dance club hit 'Locks of Love'. Woe, funny funny funny stuff! But all of the CD suggestions were fantastic! Thanks for play'in! My first single to be released...a club version of "3 Bags Full".

Friday, September 7, 2012

A FO...With No Help From You, Miss Chia!

So the Twinkle Evening Shell is finished. What a debacle that pattern was. So ridiculously poorly written. How can you publish a book and not test the patterns, check the patterns, recheck the patterns? Get others to check the patterns, recheck the patterns. Call your Mom, call your Editor. Call all your knitter friends to help check the patterns. (sighing with disgusted look on face). I have the books (Twinkle's Big City Knits) on the shelf and the good Gina doesn't want to let anyone buy them. The bad Gina wants to sell what she has on the shelf, like a good retailer should.

But can I, with a conscience, actually sell someone one helluva crappy book? A book that will entice the novice knitter with it's chunky, speedy, urban look? But torment them to the point that they may never want to knit again for the rest of their lives!? Stay Tuned.

My Next Project

I am so excited to have found my next project! I just know they will flatter my figure and make me look super hot! I'd like to make the bottom of them into stirrup pants, 'cause those kind are my absolute favorite to wear with Keds. I think I'll knit them in purple Brown Sheep Burly Spun or some emerald green yarn from Twinkle. Hum. Anyone interested in a Knit-Along with me? Anyone?

The Hemlock Ring Blanket

I've started knitting the Hemlock Ring Blanket that I discovered off of Jared's blog Brooklyn Tweed. I love it, but hell if I know what I'm doing here. I'm essentially just reading it line per line without a clue as to what I'm actually knitting or what is actually happening. And lo and behold, a flower emerging. Rad.

I'm knitting it out of Mission Falls 1824 in color #29 red on a size 8 needle. I'm very pleased with this yarn and give it an A-. Still not sure why this yarn took a strange hiatus from the shelves for awhile before Lily Chin and her backers bought it. Of course, now her yarn line has one foot in the grave and will unlikely last another 2 seasons...I digress...

ps. About the DB Cashmerino? Clothes shaver, enough said.

Instant Gratification

I am having so much dang fun knitting this top down sweater. I'm using Claudia Handpaints Felt Me! on size 10 needles. Essentially, I started at the neck and have been winging my way through this and am almost done. A sweater knitted under 2 weeks. The girl has got her mojo back in a big way!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Life Can Be A Real Beach and a 1/2

Here we are, our last day here at the beach. And to think I would finish my sweater in 3 days. I forgot I would be sleeping and eating and walking on the beach, and swimming in the pool, and bathing, along with the knitting. Needless to say, knitting happened about 2-3 hours a day. Lots of good food though, breakast in bed this morning, Crab Legs and Caesar salad with shrimp, and tonite...PFChangs...oh, I cannot wait for the eggplant, yum.
What do you think the maid is trying to tell us?

Baby is having a royally good time...in fact, he could take or leave us. He took off down the beach and never looked back. He'd be in China by now if I didn't run after him and remind him he is a little toddler and needs his Mommy! I predict that once he is able to work, like at Bioque or paper route etc, he will save up his money and move out of the house at 15 or 16. I predict this.

Here is a picture of Bfriend's daughter and I lying in the bed drinking Bloody Marys...lazy, goodfornothin, 2bit, sorryass, notevenknittin louts. Anyday now the blood clots in my legs are going to take me to the big pie in the sky.

Here is the state of Klaralund...

I've been tagged by Phyl and need to tell everyone 6 things that are wierd about me. This of course is a job for Bfriend because he knows the wierd things, I can't see them in myself (forest for the trees thing, you know)

1. I only want my drinks filled half full. I cannot stand drinks filled all the way to the top, especially coffee. Chaps me.
2. I can only wear super soft things. Period. Hate jeans. Hate thongs.
3. Will not eat left-overs. Ick. Who knows how long the food was sitting in the grocery store. I might eat a left-over that has no flesh in it, tho...better chance.
4. I can't use the same shampoo and conditioner twice. So once I'm done with the bottle, I won't ever use that brand again.
5. I like to pick peeling skin. Yeah, I know. But the skin has to be crackly, ready to come off, any resistance, not interested.
6. I love Barry Manilow.

Ok. There you have it. I'm tagging Nancy, Loren, Julia, for now...tell us 6 things about you that are wierd...only 6 Julia, not 16!
Baby is getting big, ain't he?

I'm out and off to PfChangs for lettuce wraps, eggplant and a glass of Toasted Head Shiraz. Back to reality tomorrow.

Twist and Shout!

I worked at the store today with my assistant manager, Purl Bonomo. We met with Linda Whitt, our Louet Rep. We bought Euroflax linen and alot of the Gems fingering weight in an undyed version...the same yarn Claudia Handpaints uses and Koigu used as of 6 months ago...I'm going to try my hand at dyeing. If the yarn turns out amazing, I'll sell it thru this website, since it will only be small batches. Should I label the yarn "SkeinCocaine" or a nice sweet pretty child-friendly churchgoing sounding name like "Jesus hearts this yarn" or "Puppies in a basket" yarn or "Yummiyarn" or "Kosher Yarn" ? Hahaha...well, anywho, Purl and I also picked out some Alpaca With A Twist! I wound some of it, sheesh, 450 yarns of 100% Alpaca, retailing for around 28 bucks? Not bad, eh?

I'm not sure what to knit out of each color. I only have one skein of 3 different colors. Hats and matching scarves for the Va. Tech Marching band? Or 700 preemie hats?
We shall see...Oh, Hey Julia, go see Pan's Labyrinth please so I can call and discuss it with you. There's a scene in there that I need to talk about with you. And Knitless...never ever see this movie. Period.

I'm still so grossed out by the movie but it has
with me. I just can't decide if the movie was good or not.

A Comical Gastronomical Feat.

Well, another Thanksgiving has come and gone. I've gone up a full dress size. Fallen off the Adkins wagon and as we speak I am shoveling pumpkin bread smeared with cool whip into my hungry mouth. The Turduckin was fabulous, as expected. We had way too much food. Turkey, Chicken, Duck, Lentil Soup, Brussel sprouts with shallots and chestnuts, mashed potatoes, 3 different types of stuffing, Squash, Green Bean Casserole, Sweet Potato Casserole, Salad, Apple pie, Pumpkin pie, Lemon Meringue, Deviled Eggs, Bread, Pumpkin bread, Apple Pie ice cream...oh, I'm sure I'm forgetting something. It was a ridiculous display of overconsumption.

On a sad side note, one my dear friends' step father hung himself the day before Thanksgiving. He was part of one of the oldest founding families in this area and Virginia. He had received degrees from Tech, UVA, and Harvard and was a distinquished professor. The English Dept. decided it was time for him to retire from teaching and go out to pasture. He was 63. My friend found him hanging in the hallway.

I shall leave you today with a photo of my current project. You'll never guess what it is. It's quite mysterious...and origami in nature.

Lace Ribbon Scarf

I'm actually knitting lace. Whatever.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

My Dearest Tivo, I just wanted to let you know th...

My Dearest Tivo,

I just wanted to let you know
that my feelings for you grow
every commercial free moment...
You do so much for me,
Like when you taped "Knitty Gritty" yesterday,
while I was at work.
Thank you.
I needed you to tape "The Wiggles" ...and you,
being all kind, all great, taped even more...
"Teletubbies" without me even having to ask.
I think I'm falling hard for you,
I talk incessantly about how much I care for you.
How much I need you, each and everyday.
I can't get you out of my mind...
You must never leave me, Tivo.
Adoring and undying love forever,


Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Capecho...Norah, Genius!

I saw this sweater in person at TNNA last June and fell madly in love! The sweater really isn't as short as it looks...well, maybe it is, but it looks so cool. I must make this sweater! Problem! I've got over 20 UFOs! Creme is the most fattening color! But the best to show off stitch definition! I am royally screwed. I am salivating just contemplating making this amazing bolero. But what color? What size? Can I understand the directions without losing my cookies and sticking my head in the toilet? So many questions. So many projects. So few staff knitters to make my dreams come true. And may I add, Geometry wasn't my strong point in school. Pentagons and I are strangers in the night. Or, rather, strangers. Ug. What yarn. Debbie Bliss Cashmerino aran? Too fuzzy. Lambs Pride Worsted? Too Fuzzy. (Head scratching). Maybe I'll have to break down and call Bob Collins to get the Pure Merino after all. But that means I can't start it tonite. Frick! I wonder if he takes calls after hours...you know, the emergency yarn fix hours, 911YARN.

A Stink Or A Salivation?

Ok. Don't hate me. But I want to start a Meme...it's my meme and I'll meme if I want to! I know people hate these tragic little 'chain letters' of sorts...but it is a great way for people to get to know each other and to make you think about yourself alittle more. I am relatively new to the world of blogging, so for all I know, this might have already been done, but...I tag Phyl, Julia, Loren, Mimi, and Nancy, for this one. I'd tag more but those special people have no blogs. Are blog-less (lip curled). Hello Knit-less and hello Aunt Chrissy, and hello Belinda and hello Kym, hello Kara! Shame! Shame! Here it is... List 10, in no particular order, your favorite smells. And if someone mentions skunk or toe-jam or mold...I'm outta here! Mine...
1. Chocolate Chip Cookies fresh out of the oven. Hazelnut, close second.
2. Puppy/Baby/Kitten smell
3. New Car Smell (yes, cliche, yes)
4. Garlic, but only if I am cooking it. It makes me gag if I smell it on someone.
5. Lily of the Valley, that bloom in the spring.
6. Ground coffee, fresh from the just-opened package, not yet brewed.
7. Used to have a cat named "Boy" that Julia and I couldn't keep our noses out of his fur. He was yummy! Remember, Beck?
8. Dryer Sheets, but only for a brief second.
9. Popcorn popping in the microwave...especially when I'm starving, around 4pm.
10. A fire in the fireplace.

Anybody who says "Blue Cheese" is a rotten egg! Did ya'll (remember I'm in Va.) know that the number #1 most arousing smell for women is...Cucumber. And for men...Vanilla. I guess it reminds these sweet simplistic beings of Mommy cooking in the kitchen. ??

So I am working on Capecho, by Norah, it gave me some trouble...as usual, I am a tard when it comes to reading patterns. It takes me a good 48 hours for things to sink in. And, I have failed Math and Geometry my whole academic life. I am not exaggerating.

It finally sank in and I am blissfully knitting away on my 27th UFO. Somebody help me!

I'll be ok. As long as I don't smell a fart, a full poopy diaper, a catalytic converter smell coming out of the car vent, or mildewed bagged yarn from the farthest shelves of the KFI warehouse...

Monday, September 3, 2012

She's A Man , Baby!

About 5 years ago, I had a girl living in a wing of my house. She was getting her advanced degrees in Aerospace Engineering. However, this Chick, she could dance, she could sell, she could model, she loved Stars Wars. She knitted stuff. She had the longest legs. Stunning dark hair, perfect skin, smart as the dickens. She came to my second wedding 4 years ago with a nose ring...she had moved to L.A., decided to not be a rocket scientist, and got involved with MAC cosmetics. Well, after the shootings, people from my past have been calling me up or emailing out of the blue. Her Xbfriend emailed me a picture of her now. She is a professional body builder. Anybody out there in blogland who remembers her...shocked? From blue blooded dark haired ballerina to greasy, fake tanned, bleached blond mullet girl...and if she taking steroids, which alot of competitive body builders do, she'll turn into a man and her boobs will go away. Sad.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Eat Your Heart Out, Miuccia!

Yesterday, my Seamstress pulled a bag out from under the sofa, "What's this?" she cried. Oh my. One of my 40 UFO's. A cute handbag from Rowan that was 99% almost finished. "Finish it!" she screeched in my direction. "Alright! Get off my back, Woman!" I hate to be pressured to do something when I'm not ready to do it. But I went ahead and put down the Chevron scarf and knitted the 3 more inches of purse strap...and what do you know? A FO! Crowds cheer! Flags wave! It only took me 2 years to complete! How does this bag stack up to the designer bags that are an essential part of my being? Let's look at the cost...

Rowan book "Big Easy"- $15.00
1 ball of Biggy print- $14.00
1 ball of Big Wool- $14.00
Antique pin from Mother's jewelry box - approx $150.00
8 hours of labor with an hourly wage of $300/hr - $2400.00

Total cost of the Bagette bag is $2593.00
Worth it? Sure, whatever...