Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Name That Photo!

Ok, Knitters...this should be easy! Remember to keep it short and sweet and not a caption. What does the Winner get? A skein of the coveted, most sought after sock yarn on the planet earth...hand painted...365 yards...Colinette Jitterbug! The yarn that flies off the shelves, I'll mail to your front door if you name this photo and make me laugh! Good luck! Tick, tick, tick...

Caution. Falling Rocks.

Somehow I managed to wake up today with a horrendous phlegmy thing. My nose is completely clogged and my lungs feel as if they are filled to the brim with mucus. They say that the average Toddler gets 8-9 colds a I'm going to point the finger at the toddler living in my house with me. It is really not the most convenient time for me to get sick as my To-Do list is overflowing.

1. I've started knitting Christmas gifts because I'm not going to have a hell December ever...again.

2. I need to do some PR work for Bioque.

3. My mother wants me to go to Atlanta to the Apparel show to buy some stuff for her clothing store...right now. Like, get in the car and drive there right now. Not sure. Actually she doesn't really care one way or another, but she refuses to go. Someone has to, I volunteered like an idiot. (Disclaimer: It's super fun, though.)

4. In June, I go to TNNA, the trade show for Yarn, so I need to contact designers now, who are flying in from Europe and try and lock them into driving down to Blacksburg for Mosaic's Knitting teach classes, give talks etc. Now.

5. Must plan the Retreat, which will be in June, and that's no small feat. In fact, this might kick my A@# for good. I love planning things but as it's happening I ask myself "Why? Why? Why do I do this to myself?"

Yeah, it's January. but things need to happen, checks need to be written, contracts signed...Now. Cough weeze sniff sniff.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Chevron Revisted

Love Was In The Air

Sorry about the yucky pictures, it was very dark at Bookbinder's restaurant. But fun was had by all with much alcohol and calories consumed. I had a delicious Filet with melted Gruyere on top. Yum. Hope everyone had a magical Valentines, or at the very least, a pint of ice cream and great TV...

Friday, December 7, 2012

Ditch the Rich Bitch?

Here is how my week is shaping up...

-marketing work at Bioque, scheduled NYC trip for Henri Bendel's "Open-See" on April 17th, where their buyers look at all interesting apparel, cosmetics, and accessories without an appointment. Treadmill for 30 minutes.

Tuesday-worked at the shop with Mimi...changed store window with cute handknit sweaters and accessories. Long walk with Briend.

- KinderMusic for Baby, Hot stone Massage for Momma, shoot up heroin (kidding...or am I? You'll never know for sure, but since I'm fat...)
Thursday- Baby Gymnastics, Half day at the shop, Half day at Bioque. Treadmill.

Friday- Facial for Momma, Dentist for Momma, at the shop for rest of day, out to dinner with Bfriend, Sushi, sushi, hot sake, amd more sushi! Definately no treadmill.

Saturday-Work at the Shop, knit, eat, rest, manicure, take a bath.

-Shop till I drop. Clothes, Food, Books, Mags, Illegal Drugs (just making sure you are paying attention!)

Just close your eyes...(but keep read'in) and imagine if you never had to work again. And $35,000 would be put into your bank account every month, and the mortgage is paid off. What would you do with your week? How would you spend your time...your life? Would you get more productive? Or less? More fit, or less? Continual FO's, endless FO's? Shopping and spa treatments, knitting and cuddling with with Babys, big and small? Travel alot? Personal trainer? Chef? Or just save it all and go back to work? Write a book maybe? Commit suicide because you just can't stand the pain of being so rich? (Some extra rich people like Lottery winners actually do that). Phyl would spend 30,000 of it on jewelry. This I know.

I'll tell you what I would do. Enjoy my friggin life! And knit till my fingers bleed. (oh, I'm doing that already). Have Lipo and a Facelift and pack the family and my Cole Hahn loafers up and move to Italy. Capri or Venice, maybe?

Oh, on another note, could someone please tell me why I have been singing "Funky Cold Madina" in my head for the last 3 days? God, help me.

Seems Like Just Yesterday...

I was having my baby...

Shot out windows of the second floor of Norris Hall...

Thursday, December 6, 2012


Tonight. Knitting. Sweatpants. American Idol!

Yesterday Knitless and her baby came by to chat and hang out at the shop. Isn't baby stylish? Someday she'll marry my baby. I'm planning on it, actually. Yes, yes, I know arranged marriages are frowned upon in this country. But, frankly, they have statistically, lower divorce rates.

Well, I've got nothing much to say tonight. I'm numb from Sublime and nutzo crazy S#$% life I bid you all a good knitting night! Kisskiss! Tomorrow at work I need  pass a drug test. Read a few articles about ways for successful passage of urine test. I think it will pass successfully, if order synthetic urine.

ps. I think the guys on Idol suck really bad, except for the beatbox blond guy and the fat afro funny guy...gonna be a long season. I figure the girls won't do any better, they all look greasy like they only take sponge baths or something.

Just Your Typical Saturday Night

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Bikini Wax in My Immediate Future? Nyet!

I've finished the 7 base pentagons for my Capecho. I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel here. It's always a race with myself to see how fast I can finish a project before it becomes boring as dirt for me. ee cummings being channelled thru me...

i knit excruciatingly slow
but slow and steady
wins the race
except in my a.d.d. case

Here is a pretty picture...a mound of Araucania Patagonia in a luscious edible color...too special for a dishcloth. I must think of a nice Cornelia Hamilton summer thing to knit it up in. Any suggestions?

Thanks, Phyl for coming by to see us bloggers the other day. We need a Blacksburg Blogger Convention and have Maggie Jackson and Debbie Bliss and Cornelia and Louisa come to teach classes and drink Martinis with us. Debbie will drink her Gin&Tonics, of course. Lets plan! Shamefully blogless out there, you'll miss out!

Vogue Knitting has its preview out for the next spring/summer issue. Yuk.

I dont know about you, but I always wear a short sweater over my white string bikini! And a dead Turtle family on my wrist...

Boy o'boy, I also love wearing a gay pride kite over my white bikini...not that there's anything wrong with that!

It's 95 degrees at the beach, I think I'll pop this heavy sweater coat over my practical white linen jumpsuit to keep me cool! I'll also put on a 200 pound necklace to complete my look!

AAhhhh, alright, I am being mean. Those editors have it rough pleasing everyone. I'll lay off the comments. But you won't see me making any of these sweaters. Interweave all the way!
И я никогда не буду носить белый купальный костюм 2 частей всегда!

Monday, November 12, 2012



When will they find a cure and eradicate this blight from the human knitting race?

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Sucking On A Lemon...

I only have one thing to say...I hate you, Phyl! (wink). You know that I have issues with Startitis. And yet you keep blogging on and on about these new sweaters you are starting...and, you, You! So I have now decided to make the Round trip jacket out of Noro Kureyon. I left Capecho at the shop, by mistake, so I am forced (gun to my head) to start a new project. I made Sandy hunt down the pattern in her archives last night...Thanks, Sandy! I really needed you to say "No, I don't have the pattern, so you won't be able to start it tonight." But instead, you find it lickity split! You are the Enabler. Like giving drugs to the drug addict. I believe I hate you too! Nan, you live near a Dansko Outlet? Definate Hatred!

I also started the Log Cabin socks out of the Handknit Holidays book with the Alpaca with a Twist I got from Linda a few days ago. So, I guess I hate myself too.

Oh, the self loathing runs deep tonight. But to recap on my day...I woke up at 7:30am to get ready to meet with Darry at 8:30am. (I actually bathed and put on lipstick) I was sickeningly on edge about it. The last time I saw him was in New York for our National Sales Meeting. Then I resigned about 3 weeks later. I didn't know how things would go down, if you get my drift. But as soon as I saw his face, and bemused half smile under that pornstar mustache of his, I knew everything was going to be OK. He acted like nothing wierd had ever happened and it was business as usual. Whew, relief. I did buy alot of Sirdar's new Sublime line, which is, well, sublime. Aptly named. You will like it too, blogland. I promise. One thing that makes me ugly fugly foul...check out Susan Zanni handbags. They look like funky fur and eyelash mated and had a ladder yarn baby.

I really am in a cantankerous mood tonight. I feel like a bearded curmedgeon who lives under a bridge, growling at passerbys on the bridge above me. Maybe, I'd best get a glass of wine into this foulness...ring ring...Rivka's calling! Must have a chat with her! Ciao!

Saturday, November 10, 2012

4 Your Eyes Only...

Sorry I've been absent the last few days, Bfriend and I have a new apartment in Charlottesville, and we needed to fluff it up. Put the sheets on the beds, fill up the fridge with food (spend our entire life savings at Whole Foods, yeah, right?), put clothes in the drawers, put books in the bookshelves. That done, I'm back and ready to finally fulfill my obligation to Sandra...the Meme about what is in my pockets. Truthfully? A credit card. So instead of taking a photo of my card, which would be sheer insanity, I've changed the Meme to be "What's in my Messenger bag?"

A Diaper, Huggies size 6
Bobbi Brown Lipstick, color Raisin
Tampax Tampon Super Plus
Ultra Alpaca Ruffle Scarf with Susanne's Ebony needles
Hampton Inn ink pen, one of a thousand I own.
Goody Hair Thingie
My Moo Cards from Fickr
Burberry Wallet
Victorinox Swiss Card

Now throw in hundreds of Starbucks receipts and there you have it! What is in your purse, Aunt Chrissy, Mimi, Loren, Belinda, Beckmeister, Stefani, Phyllis, and Debbie??? Which purse, Phyl? Pick the closest one to your person.

Less than one week till TNNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More details...yes? 1. Had Breakfast with Corneli...

More details...yes?

1. Had Breakfast with Cornelia Tuttle Hamilton, she told us about her new African Hot Boyfriend...she said he "fits" her perfectly.

2. Went to the TNNA fashion show and watched some interesting garments strut down the runway. The tape broke, so no DVD to put on the blog.

3. Met Nicky Epstein, she is as cute as a button, in a wide black dress.

4. Discussed Gun Control with Annie Modesitt . She had buzzed her hair off.

5. Met Amy Singer, she's cool. She gave me a pin with a sheep on it saying "Is it my breath?"

6. Rode on a bus with Cat Bordhi and she showed me pictures of her grandbaby. Then she gave me some insight into how to speed up my Fleece Artist order I placed 1.5 months ago.

7. Met the CEO of Lorna's Laces, Beth. We both decided that I was a head shorter than her, at least. She likes white wine, I like red. She was amazingly intense and loud, loud, loud!

8. Made Debbie Bliss knit a Hokie square and made fun of her having to rip it out several times. She's so self deprecating, it's easy to poke fun.

9. Mimi farted at the Vogue cocktail party, with Ms. Bliss 5 feet away.

10. Watched Debbie and Mimi get loaded at a fancy steak pace.

11. Watched Loren eat 3 slices of cold pizza in bed.

12. Ignored the little blond mouse sitting behind one of the KFI tables, then realized to my horror after ignoring her sheepish smiles at me, she was Jane Ellison. Sorry, Jane! You're very famous! Sorry I didn't notice and didn't grovel at first!

13. Sion, Ceo of KFI hugged me and said he wasn't mad at me for resigning. "No harm done." were his exact words.

Sorry about the blurry photo of us and the Bliss, I wasn't to blame this time around! More to come!

Weekend of Play

A weekend of playing at the park, a big party at the house, and a visit from an old friend and her son. Whew. I need a nap. Oh, and despite being married, I still managed to get the Clap again. Notice above, my friend modelling my partially knitted Clap. ( She is going to kill me when she sees this picture.)