Monday, September 12, 2011

The Beach Was A B@#$%!

Wind. Rain. Sand Storms. E.Coli. Imodium. Tucks Medicated Wipes. Frightening testing of the fire alarms every hour yesterday (how about a nap for the toddler? Nope!) Can you tell from the pictures of this family, who is suffering from the intestinal "issues"?

The final straw that broke the camel's back? We were awakened by the neighbor's alarm clock at 6:45am, a Bose stereo playing rap at a very high thumping level. The thumping continued until he/she pushed snooze/ shut it off. The Front desk let us in on the fact that they would be next door all week. You've never seen people pack so fast. Our tires screeched and burned rubber out of the parking garage, we couldn't get out of that place fast enough. Highlights? Seeing Bobbie at Ewe Knit Kits and, alas, driving home. We were amazed at the spectacularly beautiful day once back in Blacksburg. A mild, 74 degrees, sunny and agreeable day. Go figure.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Goodbye Knitting...Hello, Bartender.

What can I say? My blood has boiled. I have become enraged like a teenager. I have felt like kicking a wall in. Punching a wall. Slamming a door so hard there are cracks in the foundation. Very age 16. I woke up this morning and decided I was going to have alittle fun and knit an entire sweater in one day. Haha what fun...

A Twinkle design out of the new Interweave Spring Mag! 4 strands held together, classic feather and fan design. I knew I could do it...and it would be fun trying. Or so I thought. 6 inches into it, I realized, to my horror, that I had twisted the stitches when I joined in the round. Now. I was especially careful about NOT twisting them. So imagine my surprise and disgust. So I frogged those 6 inches (2.5 hours of knitting time) and asked Sandy to cast on for me and join it in the round so I couldn't make the same mistake knitting self esteem was at an all time low. But now we were on track. Perfection. I was cruising.

With a vengence reserved only for crack addicts and speed ballers, I knitted for 6 hours straight and was nearing the half way mark of the sweater (confident now that I would indeed finish the sweater in one day) when I noticed that my sweater was again twisted. Baby needed love...Can't! Must knit sweater! Purl wanted to play...can't! Must knit sweater! Bfriend cooking and cleaning all by himself in the kitchen and I should be helping! Can't! And You know why! Now a couple of inches ago, it wasn't twisted. But now it was. Completely. How was this possible? God is punishing me for drinking too much in college and stealing a piece of candy from 'Mick or Mack' 37 years ago! No matter what I did or how I turned it or twisted it or cried or prayed or begged to the Geometry was twisted. Completely. Totally. Useless. It's as if someone out there that hates me (and there are a few and you know who you are) got a Voodoo doll and chanted over it and messed up my sweater. No lie. One minute it was perfect. The next it was twisted. After a crying jag that lasted close to 4 minutes, I watched a few minutes of "40 year old Virgin" while frogging and decided that I will never knit again. Iam done. I don't even want the shop anymore. I'll sell it for $50,000 plus the stock. Loren, just borrow the money and buy the store and I'll go out to pasture. You'll find me in a cardboard box over on Draper road with a book of matches and a ragged blanket. I don't want to see another ball of yarn again. I never want to hold those f#$%^&*( needles in my hand ever again. This knitting blog is gonna get real boring. Yep. Done.

I think I'll scrapbook instead, or Canoe, or take up hiking the Appalachian trail, or maybe I'll be a brick mason. Or a Taxidermist. Or maybe I'll be a chimney sweep. Anything but be a stupid ass loser knitter. Those needles and yarn have abused and used me enough. I want out!

By the way...American Idol sucked once again! Some of the girls were so bad I held my nose while they were singing!
How did these girls get on the show? Yes, they are pretty...but Yo Dawg!

I need a glass of Whine

How do you know if you're having a nervous breakdown? Endless Emails, continual phone calls, all over the map blog comments, a sick child (Daycare, a blessing and a curse), a chewing puppy, shin splints that won't go away, a recent local massacre, 30 UFO's, not counting 4000 hokie squares for Hokie Healing. I'm not sure if I've cracked or not. I am drooling and wandering in circles. I just tried to change the Purl's diaper, and I put Toddler's food in a bowl on the floor. Right now I need a bottle of red wine, a big bar of Green + Black Dark chocolate and some Crest Whitening Strips. Calgon! Take me away!

Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner!

Remember Dirty Dancing? Shot on location at Mountain Lake, 20 minutes from my home. The last time I was there, about 3 years ago for a wine tasting, the lake was a little lower than normal, due to it's crack at the bottom. The crack needs to be water can also flow back in and the lake not become stagnant. Well, this morning the family decided to shuffle up there and show Baby the water. I also was interested in investigating the idea of having a knitting retreat up there next year.

Here is a shot I took standing in the middle of the lake, err, where the lake was...

I shall now rename this place "Mountain Pond". Quiet. Cold. No lake.

I find it all very depressing and sad that this has happened so fast. It happened before and the lake was dry for 50 years. So I'll be dead before it fills back up. Hopefully, Baby will be able to show his son or daughter once it fills back up. On a side note, I need to find another suitable place for the Knitting Retreat, that isn't so dang depressing. Any ideas?

Friday, September 9, 2011

Kwick Progectz

The 45 minute scarf

Take 15 odd balls of stash yarn that are over 5 years old
Grab size 50 needles
Cast on 8 stitches, holding all 15 strands together
Knit Stockinette Stitch till you run out of yarn
Make fringe
You've got yourself a funky scarf made in 45 minutes.

The Noro Shrug-esque turned out to be really cute on everyone...except me (DD ladies) and anyone with a breast cup size bigger than a C. It was a quick knit, for sure. If you want the pattern, email Bobbie, I'm sure she'll share the cuteness...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Only mindless projects for me right now. A FO.....

Only mindless projects for me right now. A FO...the Ultra Alpaca Ruffle Scarf. Done. Just in time for summer! Can't wait to wear it to the pool! All my friends will stare with envy! It will cover my goiter and swollen thyroid glands. What's next? Leg warmers for the golf course to cover my gout.

Bad Karma or Bad Luck?

karma |ˈkärmə| noun (in Hinduism and Buddhism) the sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences. • informal destiny or fate, following as effect from cause.

The April 16th shootings

Michael Vick's murderous hobby

Carbon Monoxide poisons 23 students on the day of the Shooting memorial. 2 are suspected brain dead.

I'd like to suspect bad luck. But who really knows what's going on here in Blacksburg?

Charlotte NC Trip Part Uno

Saturday morning, Julie, her daughter and I went to South Park Mall in Charlotte to get some retail therapy for the weekend.

My eye caught a Stella McCartney sweater that I thought was was around $1800.00. I can't remember exactly how much it cost but I know I felt nauseous by the price tag. So I figured the smart thing for a knitter to do is to take photos on her phone and see if she can lovingly copy it and make it her very own! So I'll be knitting some swatches in the next couple of days to figure it out. I'll most likely knit it out of Berroco's Pure Merino or Tahki's Zara Plus. And save myself $1600.00. Speaking of saving money...

Julie's Squeeze made us a reservation at the Marriott Renaissance across the street for Saturday night (Which is a comfy and nice hotel). When the bill slipped under the door in the morning, we realized that the rate for the night was $39.00!!!!!!!!! He gets some special rate since he works for Va Tech. From now on, he's making my reservations! In fact, I think I want him to be my boyfriend too! (Kidding, Honey Bunches O'Oats!) High Five! I also bought myself a purse (an Orla Kiely)...and some True Religion jeans that give me some desperately needed junk in the trunk. Pictures of my loot tomorrow!
I'll leave you with a photo of me in my new jeans...

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Keen Living

I bought some really ugly shoes today. I have shin splints so bad now I can barely walk...due to daily one hour walks to work. So, Keens. The ugliest shoes I have ever seen. However, I will be cremated in these shoes. It's going to be a real B@#$% finding a ball gown to match the color of these Keens at the next black tie event I go to. Not even a beautiful ball of Koigu, from Purl Soho, can save the looks of these babies.

I've got a question for ya'll out there...a debate and dialog that has been raging in the shop for the past few days...a very controversial idea.
Should we send Cho's parents a Hokie Healing blanket?

Name that CD Contest!

Just wondering if ya'll thought I should grow my hair out again? Or am I too old? Long hair on a haggard face is not a pretty sight. The top photo taken today(I am wearing a wig) seems perfect for the cover of my music CD due to be released next spring entitled "Long Haired Knitter Grrl". But wait! I almost forgot! This is your next contest! You need to rename my CD, Tony at Sony isn't wild about my choice! The best name wins...2 skeins of Koigu! The most delicious hand painted hanks of goodness. Good luck, Knitter Grrls or Boyz!

Oh, and don't forget to vote on whether I should grow my hair out or not!

Botox? Face lift?

Speaking of long hair, Bfriend wants to cut his...he feels like Deedee of the Doodlebops.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Pretty In Pink

Uh-huh...that's a uterus knitting. Um-Hum. A project off of that Gynos and med students across the globe have made for their friends, family, and colleagues. I keep thinking it might be interesting to knit it. But why? And for whom? Someone who just had a hysterectomy? Going thru menopause? Bad Painful periods every month? You know, if you think about it, wombs are pretty amazing little organs. Think of how big they can expand without breaking...nourish and protect a child for 9 months...get us out of gym class in 7th grade. Wow.