Amnio Spamnio

I want to tell you the story of when I went for the Amnio last week

I was a nervous wreck. My stomach was in knots and I was sweating alot, feeling like I was going to have a panic attack at any moment. Mr. Cocaine was there with me in the waiting room, rubbing my back. The room was full of pregnant teenagers. I was 25 years older than most of them. When I went up to the counter to check-in, I had this exchange,

"So what is the plan for me today? "

"You are meeting with the genetic counselor and then you'll have an ultrasound. Then you can decide whether you want an Amnio or not."

"I'm not meeting with the genetic counselor. Period." I put my foot down.

"Who did you have? The young one or the skinny one?"

"The young one."

"She quit. She's gone. You'll be meeting with the skinny one."

High five in my mind

So I met with Skinny and she was very sweet and calmed me down. She essentially said, that most women over 40 will have positive results on those blood tests because the age of the mother is always factored into the results. Then I went in and had an ultrasound.

"Remember that I am not allowed to tell you anything I see." said the technician.

My response to her was, "What's that? And that? Is that good? Is there a brain? Does the baby have both arms and legs? Are the kidneys there? Does the spine look Ok? What are you seeing there? Seeing a nasal bone? Girl? Boy?

" Remember that I am not allowed to tell you anything I see...but I cannot see the sex."

The Doctor came in and we started the Amnio. As the technician used the ultrasound image to find a big pocket of amnionic fluid, he stuck the needle in and I felt some burning. When the needle went through the uterus, I felt mild cramping. He filled up two large vials of amnionic fluid and then he was finished. Truthfully, the procedure is much more psychologically painful than it is actually physically painful. But I'm glad it is over. And I'm glad of the peace of mind it has now given me for the rest of my pregnancy.

Tomorrow is Destination Maternity in Charlotte NC for me . I've officially grown out of all my pants.